“Hmmmm. This codebase seems surprisingly lightweight.”

Opens random ‘Helper’ class.

“Oh… Oh boy.”

I need Office/PowerBi/Teams to work without issue. The web versions do not cut it for my use cases.

Same problem. I actually use Mint on my laptop but the desktop still has Windows 10 because some apps are still just not useable or fully useable on Linux. As much as I wish Libre Office was a full replacement for MS Office, it’s not. At least not for power users.

I hate places that drop ship from Amazon.

10 minutes later…

divideMp4IntoNSegmentsOfLengthTButPleaseDoItCorrectlyThisTimePrettyPrettyPleaseJesusFuckWhyAreYouSoFuckingStupid(){
}

My electric bill last month would have been $1,700 at that rate. We would just have to freeze to death.

What’s funny is their attempts to rebrand Office have just fallen completely flat. Kind of reminds me of when Willis Group bought the naming rights to Sears Tower and all the Chicagoan’s were just collectively like, “Yeah, No. We’re still going to call it ‘Sears Tower’.” Hell, nobody that I know of calls it “Willis Tower.” Nobody calls Microsoft Office “Office 365”. Nobody is going to call it “Microsoft 365 Copilot.” This is just a huge waste of effort by a tech firm that has long since run out of ways to be innovative.

Salesforce needs no help ruining their own image. Their software is just a giant smoldering pile of shit.

I often VPN to my home network while on the go. The overall web experience is so much worse without DNS level ad blocking.

/*
By all accounts, the logic in this method shouldn't work. And yet it does. We do not know why. It makes no sense whatsoever. It took three weeks and numerous offerings to the programming gods, including using one of the junior devs as a human sacrifice, to unlock this knowledge. DO NOT LET HIS VIOLENT AND UNTIMELY DEATH BE IN VAIN! Touch this at your own peril.
--jubilationtcornpone 12/17/25
*/
public async Task<IResult> CalculateResultAsync()
{
     // Some ass backwards yet miraculously functional logic.
}

Once again, I would like to thank stupid politicians and greedy media conglomerates for their contributions to media piracy. If not for all their hard work, we would still be playing Russian Roulette with shitty DIVX rips on Limewire.

learn prompts engineering

“Can you please do it right this time? Pretty please?”

One of my old bosses used to say, “the choice is often not between right and wrong, but good, better, and best.”

I agree with that sentiment for the most part. Different styles is fine. But sometimes you run into someone who is trying to use a socket wrench to drive nails and all you can do is just kind of watch in amazement and wonder how they arrived at the conclusion that this was the way to go.

First One:

Big ASP.Net Core Web API that passed through several different contract developer teams before being finally brought in house.

The first team created this janky repository pattern on top of Entity Framework Core. Why? I have no idea. My guess is that they just didn’t know how to use it even though it’s a reasonably well documented ORM.

The next team abandoned EFCore entirely, switched to Dapper, left the old stuff in place, and managed to cram 80% of the new business logic into stored procedures. There were things being done in sprocs that had absolutely no business being done there, much less being offloaded to the database.

By the time it got to me, the data layer was a nightmarish disaster of unecesary repo classes, duplicates entities, and untestable SQL procedures, some of which were hundreds of lines long.

“Why are all our queries running so slow?”

We’ll see guys, it’s like this. When your shoving a bunch of telemetry into a stored procedure to run calculations on it, and none of that data is even stored in this database, it’s going to consume resources on the database server, thereby slowing down all the other queries running on it.

Second One:

Web app that generates PDF reports. Problem was it generated them on-the-fly, every time the PDF was requested instead of generating it once and storing it in blob storage and it was sllloowwwww. 30 seconds to generate a 5 page document. There were a list of poor decisions that led to that, but I digress.

Product owner wants the PDF’s to be publicly available to users can share links to them. One of the other teams implements the feature and it’s slated for release. One day, my curiosity gets the best of me and I wonder, “what happens if I send a bunch of document requests at once?” I made it to 20 before the application ground to a halt.

I send a quick write up to the scrum Master who schedules a meeting to go over my findings. All the managers keep trying to blow it off like it’s not a big deal cause “who would do something like that?” Meanwhile, I’m trying to explain to them that it’s not even malicious actors that we have to be concerned about. Literally 20 users can’t request reports at the same time without crashing the app. That’s a big problem.

They never did fix it properly. Ended up killing the product off which was fine because it was a pile of garbage.

Its also incredibly fast.

“We’re going to use NestJS for the backend.”

Wait… Oh no. Oh please no. God why!?!

All the function parameter and returns types are going to be “any”.

And we’re not going to tell you.

What’s really annoying is when you spend two days trying to track down a bug, only to find out it’s not really a bug.

Land.

It really used to piss me off when the older techs would make me crawl around in nasty crawlspaces while they stood around and smoked cigarettes.

I get not wanting to be there but I’m not not about to leave some poor kid who doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing fumbling around in the dark by himself for half the day.