One time I ate an off-brand Swiss roll that was infested with maggots. It was originally pineapple flavored. Didn’t notice it was maggots until I saw one crawling away from the uneaten half.

I thought it was pina colada flavored before realizing. Just a Swiss roll with coconut flakes. Coconut flakes that seem to be popping like boba and tickling my gums like sparkling water. It is hard to put to words but eating the thing felt like I was eating a pastry that had been carbonated.

I’ll be honest here: it was enjoyable until I realized why. I think it tasted better than the rest. The texture was like the opposite of a drink going flat. A solid getting bubbly. It was over a decade ago and I don’t think it made me sick with brain worms. Just haunted with a half good memory of eating maggots.

That little shit is from Lake County. I’m only pointing this out to remind anyone thinking a waterside photo is projecting status. In Lake County there is more water than land at a 2:1 ratio so this is a poor man’s attempt to appear to be rich. You can’t piss in a yard in Lake County without it landing in one of the many lakes.

I have a button for a doorbell at my door. Hasn’t worked since I moved in. If I wanted it to work and raise anxiety I would figure out how to make it spray water on whoever is at the door.

1. It showed up one day in your apple library
2. You couldn’t delete or remove it
3. The band’s stupid name stood out in any library due to it being short
4. At the time you couldn’t get rid of the album. It sat there eating up memory space and the best you could do was disable the album from playing in shuffle.
5. Thank you OP for reminding me about this. It took over a decade but I finally got that album out of a now empty music library on a device that sat unused in a drawer. At some point between then and now deleting the album from your library became easy. Back in the drawer it goes.

I don’t speak a dialect of English that uses that word but context clues tell me “tatty” means “the shittiest barely functional one electron away from being a brick phone fractions of a penny can buy”.

What is the condition of your sidewalks? My sidewalks are uneven and a neighborhood grandma who I walk with still prefers the street even though my street is not well lit. Uneven sidewalks are a tripping hazard that can be avoided by walking in the street. Her vision isn’t great so a paved stretch of road is just easier to walk with a flashlight.

I live in a prefabricated home that is a different color than my neighbor’s. Can I gift them one of these robots to get a blueprint of their house? It is already easily googled but I feel that making a robot do it keeps them lower on the food chain.

No matter what denomination of bills or coins it could be I’d rather see sam shove all that money up his ass. It could take a week or a month or even possibly a year and I wouldn’t want to miss a minute of it.

His last name is flood? Like the bad thing that happened in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina? What kind of idiot would vote for that?

If I had to be my-name-1 I’d probably just quit out of embarrassment

I think I’d like to have the full alphabet instead.

The only way most people experience the full game content is to watch someone else play it so a movie is just putting a price tag on that.

Is Joe Schmoe going to have to answer for his shitbox that just plowed through a school zone with an unusual number of speed bumps? Joe hasn’t even met his vehicle yet and it’s gonna be out there committing crimes potentially under his name.

It is weird that he probably saw Danny DeVito rolling back the odometers in Matilda while in a K hole and misconstrued the whole situation. That scene of Danny with the drill taking thousands of miles off an old beater probably seemed like a jackpot idea in that drug addled mind of his.