Right, but how many people are willing to use Signal? I have my own messaging server, and those who don’t want to use it write sms to me.

I have self-hosted Matrix for a couple of years. I eventually settled with xmpp/ejabberd/conversations. It is easier to maintain and less resource intensive, especially if you want to go the federation route.

I run Immich which makes me really happy. Maybe you should give it another try…

You won’t find apps that provide the same service as permitted by the entire Google ecosystem. That would mean that they are as intrusive as Google and you wouldn’t be willing to use them. You either choose convenience and you can keep Google or renounce it a bit and use one app per function.