I just had my first experience blocking an instance, and it made my realize now nice the lemmy content curation experience is vs the centralized model.
Recently I started noticing a lot of posts from that I just found annoying. There was nothing inherently wrong with them, they just came from a culture I don’t understand and so I found them cringey. Since they all came from one community, realized most of them come from the same instance. I just added that instance to my blocklist and the problem is solved!
Now think about in the centralized model. I would be forced to either just accept that these posts are in my timeline, or block each community and user individually. The instance gave me an easy way to manage my content.
I also appreciate that instances can manage the blocking for their users. So the most horrible stuff I don’t even see. But it also preserves free speech, as those users who want to say horrible things can do so in their own instance, and most people will just block it.
Anyway, just impressed again by the fediverse!
I thought about you, moss and sunshine as who I would reach out to before starting a community, if I were to do so. I have no intentions of hurting anyone ever. I understand better than you might think. I grew up a Jehovah's Witness which is quite the outcast way to live. I only ever had a few friends and my closest literally traumatized me by deciding we weren't friends any more one day without a reason or care. Now I'm atheist and stuck living with JW parents and have a sister that is determined to see me homeless and dead. I had a shit social network turned to none. I've never celebrated a holiday or a birthday. I'm always in this world within a world. I can never be myself. I can't have a conversation IRL about any of my interests or who I am without getting preached at despite the fact I know the bullshit far better than the people preaching it. I only get what I need to survive most of the time. Despite spending all of my time in bed, I'm constantly berated like I am just fine when any of my needs are inconvenient. I'm mentally soup after doing anything and I tend to get so little done each day that it is hard to tackle much in the way of projects any more. I'm worn down to the bone. If you knew the slightest about my love life and history OMG is has been my hurricane against a cult like religious hailstorm. I adored my highschool gf, the forbidden outside of faith "worldly" love. Like I moved 2k miles back across the country for her. She was my key to escape the mental cult like prison. There were many more, and stories... I have always had to be closeted about love and interests despite being cis just because I was the wrong kind of cis and even when I was right I was fucking them which was wrong.
Anyways, what I would have looked for in reaching out is where to create safe boundaries because there are so many diverse people here. Maybe it is post tags, maybe it is a ban on certain topics and subjects.
I need people to speak up for me IRL when it comes to some things like disability or to be understanding here because I may not have slept much at all in several days at times and it can be difficult to know how I am doing under that circumstance. I will gladly speak up for you or anyone else and have tried to when I see the chance. I won’t be melodramatic, but I will make a dominant argument.
In my personal style, if I play devil’s advocate, I enjoy taking the plausible argument that fits the flawed narrative as I see it. Then I take that narrative to the extreme of a systems thinking approach and show where it really leads. I want to make the people who think I am supporting their disposition repulsed enough to second guess themselves not by arguing against them, but by taking their hand and then refusing to let go of their dogma until they are releasing the gas valves in the concentration camp and hate themselves for it within that metal exercise.
If we’re going to talk about abortion, then the subject is your own mother with a terminal fetus and you are given the choice of killing your mom or the unborn child and I will make that story vivid and personal.
There are many little details about transgender stuff I would like to explore more in depth without polarity in a safe space. Like where should we completely eliminate gender dichotomy. I think cycling as a sport should be integrated completely because there are niches for every body type. Most sports probably should be integrated. The whole restrooms thing would have bothered me before cycling and atheism because I was insecure. Now I wear my tightest undies in public daily so IDGAF in the slightest.
Also BTW, I say a lot about being very liberal as a mod and trying to get others to do the same. I am a quiet mod with a big stick. I have not and will not be passive about standing against bigotry. I’m for free speech but only in the context of debate with some very clearly defined limits to what that means.
If anything I want better arguments and understanding when I have the opportunity to speak up. I don’t want to be the person that argues. I want to be the person that asks the one question that destroys a bigot’s confidence. I need a deep intuitive understanding of the issues for that kind of insight. I don’t want that at a cost to you or anyone else. I will find other ways to learn over time if need be.
Like I said, I don’t think Lemmy is capable of this at all anyways. That is why I did not reach out, that and there is too much tension already on Lemmy right now. When I make debate like discussions or philosophical posts, I mostly get dumb responses and negativity in reply here.
Anyways, I’m trying to say, I understand, and genuinely care more than you may realize. - with love from an internet friend
The first half of your post is you talking about trauma you’ve received from other people, telling you that you’re wrong/evil/broken/perverted etc.
The second half of your post is explaining how you think it’s ok for you to do the same thing to others, because you do it “for the right reasons”
When you confront a bigot with transphobia pushed to the extreme, what you do is add to the trauma that every trans person already has to deal with daily. You don’t magically convert someone from bigotry. Bigots aren’t bigots because they reasons their way in to bigotry, and so you can’t stop them from being bigots by reasoning them out of it.
I come from the background of bigotry. I was one of these people. I have changed and am still, and hopefully always a work in progress.
I am trying to tell you that the experience of debating like I described was the primary catalyst that converted my dogma by questioning my assumptions. The moment that changed my mindset the most was realizing that a ban on abortion is a death sentence for some and that outcome is no better because it is anything but pro life. I realized in that moment that such arbitrary assumptions are stereotypes and all stereotypes have outliers that are harmed. I realized that I want to harm the fewest number of people possible as my internal form of ethics. I believe in the Hippocratic aphorism of “first, do no harm.” So my primary value is to live and let live.
If I had not had that opportunity to debate controversial topics, I would still likely be a dogmatic fool. It was hard for some students in the class when racism was a subject, but the teachers tread the subject with strong moderation. I learned a lot of the nuances about what black families were going through and how things were a lot harder for many of them. It made me feel much closer to them as friends and willing to stand up for them when I may not have otherwise. I saw how most students had a similar experience and it put a spotlight on the few students that lacked empathy in ways that ostracized them.
All I have said is from this perspective of wanting to help fight dogma effectively. I’m well aware that dogma cannot be argued directly. It can be manipulated easily from within by someone that is an accepted member of the tribal group. Such a person can refocus attention elsewhere and poke holes in the logic that supports some branch of reasoning. It is challenging to do without getting labeled a heretic, but it is not too difficult. Trump banged a porn star he said reminded him of his daughter, and Musk is a polygamist yet they are of divine origin. I can play this way. My entire life has been lived in this balance of understanding dogmatism.
Again, I’m not going to create the community. When I post about my explorations of AI that are outside of the norm people show they are not very open minded or curious here. I think this kind of community and post would make me even more deeply depressed based on the demographics response to any topics. I think these types of debates require a filtered room of the best and brightest. That is unfortunate, as I believe this is the only way to convert dogma into questioning and curiosity as it was for me. It didn’t work for my sister though. She is a high Machiavellian as well, but she is emotionally intuitive and manipulative of people whereas I am more manipulative of abstract ideas while empathetic of people. I genuinely care. I will never intentionally hurt you or anyone else and will work to repair anything if it is brought to my attention. My only goal is to make anyone’s life a little better, not worse, before my life avalanches into oblivion soon. I am sorry that I have upset you in that effort, and failure.